um...errrr...maybe tomorrow...

P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N

Those dreaded words.   It's like sinking sand.  The more we think about doing something and don't it seems to make us sink deeper.  Sometimes overthinking doesn't help either.  We overthink to a point of paralysis. We want to do more but we spend time on Facebook or online (Instagram is way more interesting).  We can get sucked into a nothing zone.  Just scrolling through feeds like it's no bodies business.  Time flies by and we don't even realize.  I'm sure I'm not the only one. 

But WHY? Why do we do this? 

Okay it's impossible to be 100% productive and effective all the time besides bedtime.  It's impossible.  We need rests and mental breaks of going into that nothing box and looking at the four white walls.  

Something's that are effective breaks for me:

\\\ enjoying the food I'm eating

\\\ Lying down on my bed with my eyes closed listening to music ( the music helps me to stay somewhat mentally active ).

\\\ going to the gym, again listening to my favorite music 

\\\ looking out the window

\\\ going on Pinterest 

\\\ chatting to my mom

\\\ doodling

\\\ having a longer than normal shower.  

\\\ doing a face mask

\\\ watching TV that is interesting 

\\\ going outside for a breather 

\\\ having a cup of coffee 

\\\ having a nap

 

These are simple things that do not require too much energy (minus the gym) and are great for those moments where you kinda just need a wee break. These little things refresh us to continue on with bigger tasks.  Factor these into between bigger tasks.

Have a fun breather kinda day!

Love,

Sarah

Why I should...

So I haven't written in awhile and so I am going to write about why I haven't written.  

W H Y. I. H A V E N T. W R I T T E N : 

/// thoughts of 'who reads my stuff anyway?!' I've written on my blogs for years and I've done it for me with little feedback (except from my family- which I really appreciate). 

/// I've moved.  Not cities.  Not districts.  Just apartments.  I've moved to some place cosier, cheaper and it's a bonus that it's closer to work- yay! I've just figured out how to connect to the internet- another yay! Tink! Tink!

_____________________________________

While there are always going to be reasons why not to do something I want to spend the next days thinking of why I should do things.  

W H Y. I. S H O U L D. W R I T E :

/// I enjoy writing.  The thought of it encouraging someone daily motivates me.

/// I have the time.  I am single.  Embrace it girl! 

/// Small steps lead to something bigger.  Taking risks is the best way to live one's life.  

/// Remember you are working for God and not man.  This is your journey with Him.  Enjoy it! 

Let's ask God, "What do you love about me?  What do you have to say to me today?  I'm listening."

Have a blessed day brothers and sisters.

Love,

Sarah.

body shame...

"You are what you eat" if this were so I'd be a dragron fruity loop and some chilli?!  While I'm sure there's great merit in this saying I do believe we can be so harsh on ourselves and our weight.  I have a few friends who have amazing bodies but don't feel good about their appearance.  They work hard.  They exercise and are aware of what they put in.  Sometimes we need to cut ourselves some slack and realise that our bodies are beautiful regardless of what neglect they may be in.  I mean this I really do.  It can be a cycle of negative thinking.  We ought to praise ourselves for simply being and making the slightest of efforts.  

Forgive yourself if you said you were going to go to the gym and didn't.  Move on.  It doesn't have to stay that way no matter how long that way has been.  You are beautiful regardless of your size.  We all have a natural disposition aka genes that play a big factor.

I have been living in Taiwan for a year seeing the Taiwanese eat countless meals of what is considered fattening food without a dent in their weight.  For some fatty food does not mean a high BMI.  Everyone is different and before you start seeing your body as what you ate (that bag of chips) cut yourself some slack.

You don't deserve to be defined by a french frie.  You are you and that is a beautiful thing.

Ok, rant over!

Love,

Phoenix and Sarah

moving to Taiwan...

So it's officially a year since I've moved here.  Here are some of my highlights and lowlights.

Highlights? 
There really are so many...
A highlight was having my mom come to visit.  After waiting for her about 2 hours after her arrival time I found her.  Sharing my life in Taiwan with her was the most special experience here.  She was really keen to explore.  Me?  just chill.  Regardless we went to Keelung and Ho Ping island.  It was nice to swim at Baisha bay.

Another highlight was having my dear, Kara, come and visit.  Although now I know so much more and am a lot more accustomed to living here and would have more to show her.  It was special travelling on trains, drinking tea (and coffee of coarse!).  

Some low lights?
Having two sets of food poisoning and coming off second in my scooter fall.  But all in all I am so thankful for the people who were around to help and assist.  

Lets focus on the good you know?

Blessings,
Sarah

take it on my chin...

This post is inspired by my beautiful mother.  Mothers always know just what to say, give perspective and always know what is good for you.  Thank you, Mom, for being you.

So, just a few days ago I fell off my scooter.  I was in a rush to get to training (I didn't even make the chance to go to the restroom) between classes, was lost and the road was wet.  I won't go into details as I haven't warned sensitive readers.  But basically I was rushed to emergency and got three stitches on my chin.  In the whole thing I rested mentally (well tried).  I took the afternoon/evening off.  I ended up doing house work- I guess the adrenaline was rushing.  But the next morning I woke up and was ready to see my students again, actually excited!  This is what rest does, it refuels.  

I guess that is something that we all need, rest.  We have the opportunity to do so everyday.  We can take in a breather or mental break along the way too.  'Breathe' has been my word this year and I think that this is something I want to implement into my life more.  Not to fill my life with a million expectations and to do lists but to appreciate what is being done and what is to come.  When negative things come my way I hope to take it on my chin (figuratively speaking).

May I learn to breathe.  May you learn to breathe.

Blessings,
Sarah

hand in our lives...

Today, I took a bus trip to Taipei which really isn't far.  It took us an hour drive there.  So nice not to be driving.  This particular bus had movies to watch.  The bus station was improved so perhaps they decided to upgrade the whole bang shoot.  Regardless I watched (am still watching) an endearing movie.  It's called "The Intern".  Google it.  However in brief a man who should be retired interns for a youngish lady who has made an online success.  The scene is this.  While she is in a constant state of catch up he cleans a dirty desk of hers.  Well I balled my eyes out and while this may seem a bit of an emotional disproportion I understood why.  I was like that lady.  I am like that lady.  We all are or have been like her.  We all have so much we want to do, give, transfer, have meaning, extend ourselves, be respectable and so on.  There are things that nag us that we just don't get to.  It's like our hands are too short.  But then there's God who is always there to clean our mess.  He's that gentleman that sees the smallest needs and aches and pains.  There is is and was in that scene.  It was the father heart of God.  Helping us out.  Seeing our frustrations.

May we know his hand in our lives.

Love,
Sarah

c o n f i d e n c e

I must say one thing I appreciate about the Taiwanese is their confidence and I mean inner confidence.  I would say that they are a pretty humble bunch but they are confident about certain things. Yes, humble does equate to confidence. 

I have this little girl in my class who will come up to get stickers when I have clearly stated Henry, Leon and Kiki and her name does not start with H, L nor K.  She will come sit on lap or assume the role of little teacher when it's evident that she is not that day.  Taiwanese woman are much the same you can mention their hair and they will blush and say 'thank you!'  I really like this.  I like that they can accept compliments and gestures. 

Just last night I had to have a locksmith come and open my apartment for me.  He had a wobble and obviously something wrong with his leg.  He gestured and mumbled something asking me to carry his wooden chair.  I happily took it along with his sling bag with loads of keys in.  He happily agreed.  I really liked that he was accepting of this and willing to let me literally lighten his load.  

This is something that has made a mark on my mind.  The taiwanese are sensitive to the limitations of one's humanness.  There is a grace and a kindness, a willingness to give it and receive it.  It is sometimes a bit frustrating when you are looking forward to being pampered and your beautician is feeling 'uncomfortable' and cancels ten minutes before.  But it allows me to be sensitive to others and myself. 

May we be gracious and confident.  May we be humble and giving.  May we live in peace and contentment with our failings and I mean that in an empowering way.

Blessings,

Sarah

Interdependence...

I intended to write yesterday (as I always do)...  Hope you weren't holding your breath.  But, I got locked out of my apartment.  I won't go into the details and this is not an excuse as to why I haven't written although it also is.  But I noticed a few things in the whole process of being locked out, lacking sleep and wanting control about myself.  I like to be in control and independent.  But lets get real we know that these things do NOT happen when you're living in a foreign speaking country.  This means calling your friends at midnight and letting others help you.  

I decided at one point of trying to figure it all out today that I must just let it go and ask for help.  So I did and I am writing this INSIDE my apartment.  New found love for my apartment.  

I also realized that being dependent on others is important.  We are not intended to be an island. Being interdependent on others is a beautiful beautiful thing.  

May we live and love and be loved.  This includes allowing others to really love you!

Love,

Sarah

managing expectations...

Moving to Taiwan I thought that money wouldn't be a problem from day one.  It was a bit of an unexpected surprise when I had loads of things to pay off, buy and could barely make it through the month.  Everything seemed so much more expensive and it took awhile to find ways to save and still be comfortable.

Today again I had to manage my expectations.  I imagined and planned to get a train to Taichung and back in my own seat.  Well on the way back the taxi took us to the HSR (High Speed Rail) so we didn't make it in time for our train.  We sat on the hard floor and it was a hot and bumpy ride.  I was dreading my next class that I would now be late for AND unprepared.  I heard a whisper in my ear and heart saying that it would be more fun than I expected and IT WAS! I went trick or treating with my two classes and to my twin's house and we even got candy-not that I eat it but it was a nice gesture.  

Today (as a whole) exceeded my expectations but I also had to manage and control my frustrations and anger .  I also had to remind myself that because it was a bumpy morning and afternoon it didn't have to continue like that and what I mean is that I didn't need to take that into my classrooms.  I could let it go and enjoy the rest of what was left of the day!

It turned out to be an interesting day indeed.

May you be surprised by God's goodness in your life.

Love,
Sarah.

expectations...

So I hate expectations...I hate feeling like I HAVE to do something.  I feel that it loses its joy when we know how things are going to be but it's also kinda nice to have that stability.  I am of the belief that if I have a good heart good things will flow from that-it's biblical right?  I like the idea of doing coming out of being.  Maybe I'm over thinking it but today I had no expectations of how the day should go and I had so much fun!  I went to church and then I stopped in at an art exhibit and then wandered around a hidden market.  I even bought an embroidered sweater to commemorate this unexpected surprise.

But, most of the time we have expectations (external ones and internal ones).  I guess these are good.  They set the compass of our lives.  These have to be managed and processed to be realistic and somewhat ambitious too to make life interesting and exciting.

This is a constant struggle of mine which I am sharing with you.

I hope we don't lose the wonder and curiosity of life while having expectations.

Blessings,
Sarah

would my brothers approve...

So of late I have been going out for a drink or two with the ladies from work.  It has been lots of fun *sometimes I could hang back a bit on the dance moves. Naturally I've met more Expats by going out in the last two months than I have in the other 8.  At some point or another one expat might mention dinner to me (No, thank you!) or make an unnecessary comment.  I guess I was at a bar so this is to be expected.  None of these guys are real candidates to take home to my family but sometimes I do just check in my head..."Would my brothers be able to have a long standing decent conversation with them?"  Hopefully some kind of relationship in whatever shape or form.
I guess what I am saying is that a bar is not the place to meet someone but these thoughts do run through my head.  Again I want quality and someone who would be a life partner in whatever time frame that takes.

At the moment I sort of feel like a fish out of water.  A Christian in a Buddhist society.  A Christian single girl meeting ungodly men.  Even in church I am struggling to find my voice or expression in a way that is heartfelt and authentic.  I am not sure where I want to be next or where I will be next and this may all seem dramatic but I guess the world is my oyster-excuse all the ocean similes.

I'm also learning to go with the flow... Sometimes God is more in the flow than we realise.

Just thoughts from my inward wondering/s.

Blessings,
Sarah

sowing...

So today was a fun dress up day at work.  It was our Halloween Day.  I'm absolutely exhausted as I write this.  My chest feels tight and I have a load of washing in the washing machine *I'm unsure why I mentioned that.  Regardless, as much as I am exhausted I feel exhilarated too.  There are ebbs and flow's at work and in life and just about every area of one's life.  However I feel that whenever I am putting in my whole heart I reap in that area.

I must say that I am trying to focus my heart on other area's too now other than work but I know that the same principle applies.  If we sow in good things like self discipline, perseverance and so on we will reap good fruit.

May this be encouragement to you and me.

Love,
Sarah

goals...

So I would say my goal at life is to love God and others.  However this becomes a distant and vague fog when it comes to the humdrum of everyday life.  I'm been thinking on what is failure to me.  Okay so I know that I spoke about goals and now failures.  I guess we can look directly at our goals and assess whether we have hit the mark or not.  

Failure may not be as dramatic as being fired or being deported or losing a friendship/relationship but might be something like eating that 10th cookie when you said you were only going to have one.  I realized that I was doing this...beating myself up about something that actually wasn't a major goal in my life when I really think about it clearly.  My mail goal in life is not to avoid cookies however I was treating this 'failure' as if it was my one and only goal.  I understand that life consists of small goals and bigger goals (some that require more dedication and commitment) and I am not trying to diminish your inner resilience to complete tasks and accomplish efforts towards your goals.  However I am having to remind myself of what my goals are and treating them in the essence in which I first viewed them.  

It's about balance.  It's about being kind to yourself.  

Different seasons the sub main goals will differ and we should adjust accordingly.  
Stop trying to be perfect.
Enjoy the season you're in.

Love,
Sarah

a sinner and a saint

Most of the time I have a general idea of what I want to write and then when I start it fleshes out.  Let me start...

Of late I have really being thinking about what I believe and why.  Ok, you're probably thinking this is the normal Sarah stuff.  But I want to go their because this internal pondering really fascinates me and perhaps you could share your thoughts too *if you haven't already.  So I am currently living in a country where my religion (I like to think of it more as a relationship with Jesus) is a minority group.  It's impossible to miss the temples, the festivals, the culture and so on.

In most religions people have to earn their salvation- visit Mecca, fast, pray, repent, do good works and so on.  I really am not going to earn this blog post by listing it all.

Christianity differs.  We don't earn God's love.  We don't reach a level of goodness before we can enter into His presence.  My church back home in SA is such a fantastic example of this- they love on the prostitutes, welcome in beggars, goths or anyone who enters.  This is the example of Christ.  He loved sinners.  He pointed out the good in them when the world just saw a sinner...

May we be this kind of person.
May I be this kind of person.

These are my thoughts...

expectations coupled with perfectionism...

Being a emotionally aware person I pick up (sometimes overly analytical) about others emotional well being.  I am aware when others expectations of me are exaggerated coupled with the expectation to be perfect.  I'm not going to say I understand this because we are not perfect.  I feel that it is unrealistic and somewhat unnecessary to criticize and expect when there is no part on their side in the journey.

Let's just leave it there.  We all know how it feels to be criticized out of turn with no support or solution.  Let's keep this between us... it is frustrating and somewhat a condemning feeling that comes over us.  It makes us feel 'not good enough' but that's far from the truth.  When this happens we need to detach from these feelings.  They are not yours.  You are enough.  You are more than enough!

Love
Sarah

Get excited

there's this little voice in my head sometimes that says...

Don't get too excited.  Don't hold your breath.  

Being the questioner that I am I have come to question this notion... "Why not get excited?  Why not hope or be expectant?"  Sometimes people are too scared to dream and hope because they have been disappointment a lot but I've come to a point of letting go to the wind and setting sail...  Why not get overly excited about the future or possibilities or things that you are passionate about.  

Passion is contagious.  We can spend our lives debating and trying to prove a point but when we speak with passion and fervor there's nothing more convincing than first hand experience.

Up until this past month I've spent the majority of my free time alone.  Weekends have been me time, time to catch up with people over technology-which I am really grateful for.  Now, I've been too scared in a way to rejoice that I don't have to spend time alone in case I jinx it.  That is not how I want to live... in fear of losing what I have gained.  

May we hope and dream and trust in God's good nature.

Love,

Sarah

from my heart to fingertips to your heart.  

Good things

I remember when I first arrived in Taiwan the hand gestures were on top form.  In a struggle to communicate it was my survival mechanism (I guess they still are).  However they have been dulled down a bit now. One that I did often signaled 'perfect!'  It was a real simple hand signal and so everything could not be "yeah that's okay!" it had to be perfect.  That was the hand signal I knew and worked.    

Doing the washing, taking it out of the washing machine, hanging it, folding it, doing the dishes, preparing meals, buying food (and WATER!), dressing professionally, having fun, being social, getting enough sleep, eating well, keeping fit, not to mention being energetic for my job, being well prepared, saving money (trying my best!), making the most of living abroad, remembering to write, keeping contact with my beloveds, cleaning my flat, going to church, being hygienic, being abreast of admin and so the list goes on.  I'm sure you know the drill...  

Moving on, the urge for it all to be perfect is clearly present. I am reluctant to accept its pull which leads to anxiety and stress.  The house doesn't have to be perfectly clean and it's okay to forget to message a friend back here and there.  I guess what I am trying to say is that we need to resist the urge to try and play to perfectionism's game.  But why?  It steals joy!  I would hate for this season to end and only see later the fun and joy that it is...I can become so focused on being in control that I forget to enjoy the process.  I want to be aware of the good thoughts I could be thinking like...

WELL DONE! 
That movement out of bed was FANTASTIC!
You are a fascinating human being.
I enjoy being me.
I love what I do.

When I start looking for the things I love, I find them.
But, I don't always see them when I'm not looking.
So this again is a reminder to me to think on all that is lovely, pure, honorable, godly, good, a blessing and so on.  May the list of good things never end...

May our minds be consistently filled with the goodness of God.

Blessings,
Sarah.

frustrations and solutions...

One of the biggest frustrations that I experience living here is the inability to express myself. Everything has to be a step of faith or a planned event.  But you know what? I don't want to live in a state of frustration and the best way is to take that energy to the gym.  

Time to oneself is so important and exercising is as well.  Drinking lots of water and eating the right things reduces stress.  As well as getting enough sleep.  With that said.  I'm making my way to that beautiful thing called.. BED.

Night night! or good morning!

Treat yourself right-no one else is going to be doing it for you!

Love,

Phoenix

the little things...

Today I rushed to the local coffee shop for a coffee latte (YES milk, sigh) and in the process I put my scooter on its stand on a metal grid (man hole). It was all fine until I had my latte and came out and wanted to take it off its stand.  I struggled as it was now stuck in the grid and the metal was lodged.  I knew I couldn't do it alone but I tried.  I became panicky because I had a class in 20 minutes.  

A regular who sits outside with his paper and coffee helped me pull it out.  This reminded me again of how I love the Taiwanese.  It took him about 30 seconds to notice and to come to help. Why I say the Taiwanese is because this is not the first time a man has come to help me lift or move my scooter.  It just set such a pleasant tone for me for the rest of the day.  

May we  be those who offer to help too!

Richest Blessings,
Sarah.

small steps...

So last night I sent out my newsletter... It is always a relief because a lot of time, frustration and emotion go into the making of it.  It's nice to tick things off.  I've been trying to focus on the things that I am getting done rather than all the things I want to do.

Got up-tick!
Walked alllll the way to the bathroom-tick!
and I won't bore you with the details.  It's a bit of a mental shift but it makes one feel more productive.  Sometimes we are mindless about all the good we do because it's normal.  But I've come to celebrate it when I've done the washing AND hung it up the same day! haha.

It's the small steps that make a mile.

Well done on all those 'small' things you did today-just in case you didn't get the acknowledgement you deserve!

Love,
Sarah

Perfectionism...

We want to live our best life as our best self.  We want to offer a quality product and or a quality service...ALWAYS!   But you know what we are only human.

I really don't like being sick.  Does anyone?  I mean I like the time off because I would prefer not to throw up in front of my kids but sometimes we rush processes.  We think we can take this tablet three times a day and swoooooosh! We will be perfect!  

I've felt this drive to strive for perfectionism *without realising.  So what is perfectionism?  Its the refusal to accept anything shy of perfect.  

I've been feeling so overwhelmed by house work, school work, emotional work and so on that my chest feels tight.  But you know what we don't need to be perfect!  It's impossible anyway.  What is perfection?  It's different to every person.  So while we are trying the rules are always changing.  But let me tell you something before we spin out of control...

God is happy with you right now!
He is happy with you right now. 
Without saying do this or that. 
shhhhhh....
Let your soul take a minute or two or however long it takes.  
...

You are enough.
Before Jesus did ANYTHING (any miracles, healings etc) God said to Him... Well done good and faithful servant.  

Blessings of peace,
Sarah

that thing called compassion...

Compassion equals love.  Everything Jesus did was done out of love.  He was motivated by love to do things.  I think this is the prime example of love.  I dare to live my life like this-modeled on Jesus.  Motivated by the fact that He loves me.  He loved me first.  This is a short post but it serves as a reminder to me to listen to people.  To see the beauty in their soul when they talk to me and seek to understand them and not judge or offer advice without really understanding what it is that they need.

May we live loving lives-being loved and loving God and others.

Blessings and love to you dear reader,
Sarah

"Ahhh, shame"

Back home we say "ahhh shame" if someone has stubbed their toe or had a tough day.  We use it so glibly!  It really doesn't make any sense.  SHAME.  Shame is that feeling that makes you want to hide.  It tells you that there is something deeply horrible about your person hood.  It makes you want to hide and one feels embarrassed about something one has done or even who one is.  I love what C.S Lewis says about shame...

“I sometimes think that shame, mere awkward, senseless shame, does as much towards preventing good acts and straightforward happiness as any of our vices can do.”

We all deserve happiness and we should do everything in our power (depending on God of coarse!) to rid ourselves of shame.  Let us let go of things that entangle us and press through to live a FULL and glorious life!

Amen,

Love,

Sarah

life giving words...

These past few days I've been living in low gear.  Just because I've still felt dizzy, head achy and so on.  Monday I took off.  I was sick.  The doctor said something that really upset me about myself and I'm still waiting to hear if his diagnosis was correct or not.  But it got me thinking how we can so easily accept other people's opinions of us.  One of my favorites (sarcastic tone) is when someone says...'ahhhh you looking so tired...' I mean it could be said in the sweetest tone but somehow it never seems to inspire me.  

We too can think and speak positive and life giving words over ourselves!  Which should be even more convincing!  Like...'you have purpose and power', 'you are destined for greatness', ' you ooze creativity', 'you leak love without even trying', 'you are a force to be reckoned with' and so on.

This is certainly something I am challenging myself on.  In the bible we are encouraged to pray without ceasing and in that spirit we are bound to be thinking positively!  Maybe that's actually where it starts!  

This is not intended to be something more to do on your list but instead a reflection on what is helping me get mine done.

Blessings friend,

Sarah.

simplicity...

This year I chose the word ... breathe as my word for the year.  It's been a struggle.  I have to constantly remind myself to breathe.  I sometimes feel we have so much to do that I have to go! go! go! and I forget to inhale air in between speaking.  I sometimes even get hick-ups.  

Regardless of my hick-ups I still try!  As a questioner personality I often make a decision and then question it.  One of my greatest inward struggles is to feel like I have purpose and meaning.  I know it seems so simple.  I mean I work abroad.  I work with kids.  I go to church surely I should find meaning.  Oh, I also have friends and family that I am in communication with.  But still the struggle is real.  Coming home everyday to darkness and having to switch on the lights is something I battle with.  I've also known home to be a place where relationships breed.  

Anyway, I've come to the inward simple decision that I DON'T have to question everything.  My life has meaning.  My life has deep purpose.  I just need to breathe and accept it.  Simple.

May you see the beauty of your life.
May you see it in grand simplicity. 
May you know that you have purpose and meaning.
May you (like me) learn to breathe. 

Love,
Phoenix and Sarah.

Micro Managing...

I've neglected this blog for many reasons but one being that the app on my phone hasn't been working.  I would type and then it would shut me out.  How jolly rude?!  Besides that I've always felt convicted to write and I mean that in a keen interest kinda way.  When I think about writing I get butterflies in my stomach.  It means so much to me that someone might find value in the chaos that often is my mind and really this blog is a reflection of my mind. 

Anyway,  there are so many things I feel I want to write about.  Like when you haven't seen a friend for a long time you just have so much to say.  So here goes!  

Today I've been thinking about how we zoom in on something in life.  It can be a flower that is in bud.  We are so zoned into it that we may forget the garden around us that is in full bloom.  Recently I have been seeking the attention of a few people instead of continually thanking God for the flowers of friends that I have.  So THANK YOU GOD for the flowers of friends that I have.  

But it goes further than that I think.  We can really micro manage our lives to a point we forget to enjoy them.  We really can be so over ploughing a certain circumstance in our life that actually doesn't need attention.  What I mean is digging up the seed while its trying to grow.  What actually needs to happen is the season needs to change.  There is nothing wrong with your work, nothing wrong with what you are doing to nurture it but there is also power in trusting and letting go and letting the one who controls the weather do His thing.

I am speaking here from my own personal internal battles.  Firstly I hope this makes sense and secondly I hope you'll be gracious if it doesn't.  

Be blessed friends,
Phoenix and Sarah

W o r t h y

Where does your worth lie? 

We have God as our great compass and hopefully our internal compass is directed towards him.  We really are blessed to have surety of his love and adoration.  The unconditional and unbreakable love of God!!! Whether or not we are seeking his direction, he is constantly seeking ours.  

Grab hold of this: the God of the universe seeks our attention.  Talk about what that will do for ones self esteem.  

May we know our worth in Him.  May we be thankful for his worth in us.  May we follow where He ,Our beloved guide and friend, leads. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah 

Seeing

As I lie awake... I consider the things that have been.  I think of the gems that I have found just recently in Taiwan- this includes people and gym equipment. 

There are millions of things to be grateful for everyday!  Sometimes I think I walk around with my eyes shut!  But it's always a delight when I see something I've never noticed before! The colour of a leaf, the trickle of the rain and so on. 

I really could go on forever. Inspiration is never lacking:  go on Pinterest, look out your window or look in the mirror.  There is a difference between looking and really looking. 

May we look and appreciate what is in front of us! 

Taiwanese holidays and working!

The funny thing about Taiwan is that if they congregate off days with public holidays to make a a long weekend then one will have a "make up day"... 

So this past week was a long one- Monday to Saturday! But the truth is that it was tiring!  But it's also customary that teachers teach from Monday to Saturday!

So I guess I'm blessed not to work every Saturday! 

Happy birthday to you!

You know that awkward moment when you are being sung to because it's your birthday ? The song seems so long and unescapable. 

I guess this is kinda how God loves us.  Sometimes it feels awkward and mis placed but genuine and from the heart. 

️May we stop and allow him to sing over us! 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Gods provision

Yesterday I was given a gift but didn't understand the pakaging or recognise the medicinal looking oil.  

Yesterday and today I have been feeling congested and tired.  Then i googled the use of this oil and guess what it's good for :  feeling congested.  Works like a bomb! 

It made me think of Gods ability to provide.  He knows our needs before we even know what we need.  We have a good father! 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Entitlement

On the day of my birthday I was invited to a cafe for sandwiches with one girl that I vaguely knew along with a group of people that I had heard of.  In line with not wanting to do something ordinary on my birthday I took the treacherous trek to Yubei- which is just a twenty minute ride. It's not that far but when it's your furthest ride in Asia and it's bucketing down rain I did start to rethink my spontaneous choices.  

I arrived and was adamant to park undercover.  Here everyone parks anywhere and seeing as though it was my birthday I took the higher level.  This meant driving up a steel platform to what seemed to be heaven at the moment. Except i slipped and the lady of the local store came out shouting.  I had so much to say to her that I said nothing.  I wanted to yell "It's my birthday. I should get front row parking" and "Im so glad that this slip didn't end in repairs to me or my scooter!"

Who knows what she was saying but it got me thinking about our rights as a child of God.  We have access straight into his presence.  He always treats us as royalty! Always!  Although the world may not, God does and what a healing thought that is to a hurt or bruised ego! 

Love,

Phoenix and Sarah

She shines, I shine

There is enough beauty and glory in the world that everyone can shine.  

I've made a mental shift to celebrate others ( at large ).  This includes when im browsing Instagram or Facebook.  It is a constant battle but one worth fighting.  Here goes! 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

T r u s t

These past few days I've been feeling pretty down.  I have a questioning personality that likes to know the why and when I can't understand a process i get a bit frustrated.  But I am learning to let these times come and go.  

Im learning not to question so much. It's not helpful to always ask why!  I would dread a day where my students constantly asked me why!  Imagine..."why do we need to do this?", "why do we need to do that?"... 

Ahhh this would be the worst.  We could lose momentum.  We are students too and we need to trust our teacher. 

God is patient with us and yes he wants to know our hearts but let's trust him.  Let's trust his process! 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

G r a t e f u l

I'm so very grateful for being able to sleep in, to work hard, chat to loved ones, to dress up and to be a child of God.  

There is so much to be grateful for.  So many wonderful things behind us and so many wonderful things ahead of us! 

You are loved and respected and God has amazing plans for your life! 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Simplicity

My schedule has increased ever so slightly! An extra 6 hours a week.  It somehow feels like I have more time or maybe it is that I use my time more constructively now.  Extra time I have spent at the gym and in The Lords presence or both simultaneously! 

After my stomach ache I have also been enjoying food again.  Tonight I had potatoe,  greens, and some red beans! I am always disapointed by meat.  I've so enjoyed the simplicity of going all natural! 

May we enjoy the simple things in life. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah 

L o o s end up

Some things are better loose: loose wool, loose chains, loose muscles, fluid motion in the toilet and loose change (that one was a joke).  The fluid motion of the toilet water is a story for another day! 

Today I was filling up my whiteboard markers and I started thinking about the loose fibres in the one.  It was more suspectable to the ink because it's surface area was wider and the fibres could fill and the ink could wait in between for when the fibres were dry again.  This got me thinking about stress and how stress somewhat tenses one up to not fully grasp the input/inspiration of the moment.  Well for me anyway. 

I see now a few months into the job the ease that certain things were positioned in but because of my tightness i wasn't fully able to soak in the input of the moment.  Im talking being in a survival mindset.  

Some things are better loose and im not talking moral standards.  Im talking muscles and holding a certain amount of grace with oneself in the journey. 

That's all!

Loosen up. 

Daddy God's got your back.

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah 

Be g l a d

I do believe that God wants and desires joy for us.  

Yesterday I hit the bed pretty early.  I worked until 1900, headed to gym and then hit the sack after some supper that i whisped up.  

I had some news that tempted to get me down and discouraged but it was so clear to me that every problem comes with a promise and provision.  So I was meditating on the promise that God has given me a hope and a future.  

Regardless of what your thoughts or feelings God desires goodness for you that includes your present and future situation.  

Take delight in him.  Those who take refuge in the Lord should be glad.  Psalm 5. 

My first coffee in six days.  I decided to treat must on my afternoon off! 

Love,

Phoenix & Sarah

Being alive

Sunday 

8/21 

Oh what a joy it is to be alive! 

These past few days I've been struggling with food poisoning.  I haven't had an appetite and I've just been existing.  What a joy it is to have things that we love to do! And with people that we love! 

May you enjoy this blessed life that we have been given! 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Peace in pain

I've been food poisoned.  I've also had an intestine infection and a fever... Truth is I've been in bed for the past three days.  I see on facebook that when some people are sick they've watched series, painted and so on.  Well,  I've battled to keep concentration and focus so I've mainly been sleeping and looking through my facebook, Instagram and emails.  Obviously keeping in touch with my mom, duh!

I've felt very sorry for myself although that didn't really help.  I've been in so much pain and discomfort.  

What have I learnt in this time?  Peace doesn't come with perfect circumstances.  God gives peace in the confusion, in the mess, in the pain, in the struggle.  Simple.  When we release our situation to him he can do wonders.  

May we trust him in the easy times and in the struggles!

Love,

Phoenix and Sarah 

Suspense and dread

I came across these models ( http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2016/03/in-anxious-anticipation/) depicting the build up before something happens. The consequences are obvious: a balloon popping on pins or a champagne glass that is bound to break from the falling of the bricks. 

Sometimes the suspense of something is far worse than the actual thing.  We may dread going to the doctor but it actually turns out better than expected.  We may dread work, or going to church or the gym but everytime we go we are happy we went.  

My prayer is that we would release all our feelings of dread that steal joy to the Lord .  That we would find joy and peace in Him in the waiting... In the process.  May we grasp the hope that he died for.  May we grasp the peace and joy we now have. 

This is a note from my Granny.  "Be happy and ENTHUSIASTIC it makes the world swing".

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

T i m e

8/17

Wednesday 

This morning I woke up, ate breakfast and showered thinking I was late for work.  Then I realised that i had set my alarm an hour earlier.  So I have a whole hour to myself.  Has this ever happened to you?  

It just reminded me that time really is in Gods hands. He has a time and a season for everything.  May we trust in his timing.  "Though the seasons change, His love remains".

Love,

Phoenix and Sarah

C, C, c, c c

Tuesday

8/16

"A, A, a, a, a this is an apple. 

B, B, b, b, b this is a ball.

C, C, c, c, c this is a curious cat!"

(Points at the children in front of her)

Toddlers are curious by nature.  Recently I have subbed a toddler class.  We played a game where they had to try and get the balloon in the black bag through the hola hoop.  When the balloon fell in the bag made a crackling sound.  So i over emphasized this when they got it in.  They became so giddy with excitement.  It brought such joy for me to see them so happy!  They are talkative and easily amused.  This is something I hope I always keep in my life.  A sense of wonder and appreciation for the beauty around me. May we never grow old and forget the simple yet beautiful things! God delights in our delighting!!!

This is just a snippet into my thinking. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah 

F e e l i n g s

Monday

8/15

Those fluffy things called feelings.  As my birthday has come and gone I've felt loved by non christian friends and tempted by christian friends and visa versa.  I've felt a bit depressed at the thought of celebrating alone and then hopeful in the Lord in the next breath.  

Sometimes we feel nothing or we tell ourselves that we feel nothing. It could be that we don't actually want to deal with our emotions.  Either way we come across a variety of feelings everyday and even when it doesn't feel like it- we have control over them.  

Im asking God for wisdom in dealing with my emotions.  Im asking him to reveal what to do when I feel a certain way or not.  May we seek God when we feel a million things or nothing at all!

Much love, 

Phoenix and Sarah 

Excuses and freedom

I've come to so many excuses of why I don't do something.  I want to paint more, draw more, gym more, read more, write more but I don't.  But why? 

I've been reading a book about bettering ones self.  While I know only true transformation comes from God I was curious about the book.  It most certainly has given me a deeper look into myself and my personality type-  im a questioner.  I want meaning to my decisions but I've learnt also to just stop overthinking something and having the freedom to follow through on what I decided was a good decision. 

I've also come to the realisation that we have been given everything we need for life and Godliness.  We don't need to wait for the perfect timing or even change our mind about a good decision.  

Im learning to let go of this questioner when it comes to obvious good decisions like: having boundaries at work, exercising daily and eating well.  

May you find this and greater freedom in commuting to good decisions and peace in following through. Amen. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Many h a t s

Yesterday I bought a flat cap for a steal.  It also goes with today's post.  This year I've struggled with exercising at the gym.  Whether it be that i over commit at work or that I've lost incentive cos my friends aren't there or because im  too lazy- who knows.   It could also be that I've been cycling in the heat everyday to and from work and that my job is active.  Regardless, everyday we have many caps that we wear:  teacher, friend, daughter, cleaner, cook, provider, shopper, gymer and so the list goes on. 

For those of you who don't know the most effective way to lose weight is through ones diet- not even exercise.  Although I've learnt to see cleaning my apartment as exercise or climbing the stairs, cycling to work and trying to make good food choices when there are so many options- although fried food in general doesn't really appeal to me. 

The encouragement that I want to come from this post is this;  you are enough.  You do enough and you are enough.  Cut yourself some slack and see yourself the way God sees you: beautiful.  

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Wait

A general theme that has been reoccurring in my life is to trust God and not man.  I have been overwhelmed by Gods goodness through people but I look to Him first.  I am always disapointed when I rely too heavily on anyone.  We are made to be in relationship with God.  Have you ever thought of God as waiting for you? 

He waits for your attention. 

Now I know as a teacher I'm there for connection with the children.  I know my abc's.  If they don't listen I wait.  I desire their attention but sometimes they are VERY interested in their shoes/buttons and so on... And then I wait some more.  

You have access to God all the time.  He is interceding for us.  He desires connection.  What a thought! We have access to pure love, divine peace, overwhelming joy and His presence any time, anywhere, any way! Wow! 

May we include God in all we do.  May we hear him whisper to us.

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Birthday cakes

Yesterday I was overwhelmed by the kindness of the Taiwanese.  I was running around this week- not getting to everything I want... I wasn't too fussed about getting a cake for my birthday lunch.  "How would I order it?", "how would I transfer it?" And "where would I get one without it being over the top expensive and still my taste?" 

Anyway my dear friends and I finished our lunch when two cheese cakes appeared on my table.  I was so confused.  They were made for me! 

They were delicious! 

I took the left overs home and now I gave a sugar hang over! 

May we be generous in our giving and content in our recieving. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

My B i r t h d a y

Birthdays- ️yay!!!! 

I love birthdays!

This post is a make up one for the 8/12.

My birthday started perfectly-  an email from a dear Uncle.  This was fresh rain on my heart.  Because of the time difference i wasn't expecting any messages until one o 'clock.  I also received a Whatsapp from my faithful mother- what a gift!

The night before around 20:00 i decided I wanted to spoil myself and wake up to a few gifts- even though I'd know what they are! So I went to H&M and bought a few things that were on sale.  

I ate my favorite breakfast- egg and tomotoe! 

Others at work forgot it was my birthday but I had brought cookies and made a fresh pot of coffee to share!

I was blessed with beautiful flowers, cake, card and gift from a friend that evening which was lovely. 

Another thing that I have learnt from the Taiwanese is to be content and that is exactly my general feeling of late.  

Absolute gratefulness.  

"if you don't ever feel the pointed things in life, you soon will take the soft things for granted"- John Everson. 

May we enjoy the soft things. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Keep on

This week has been my birthday and so I have really wanted to write- even had ideas but pure exhaustion has prevented me from getting up when I'm in bed to write.  So this one is for the 8/11.

This week I've been teaching toddlers- it has been a challenge.  What has been the biggest lesson in it is this-  keep on regardless of screaming! I think this can apply to life in general.  Whatever resistance you may feel when doing something you feel you want to do- keep going! 

So, while the children were screaming i taught, I sang, I carried on... I pushed through and found things about myself when I don't care about what others are thinking or feeling.  Look,  I tried to comfort this littlies but they were as stubborn as a toddler is. 

Second lesson that I learnt was this: even if one person is listening- it is worth it! 

It's so worth it.  

May you have a beautiful day.  

May you carry on- what you do is beautiful. 

Love,

Phoenix and Sarah

T a i w a n

10/8

Wednesday

When filling out forms for something in SA today I wrote it the Taiwanese way.  Taiwan has influenced me in the best way possible.  It has helped me develop patience (still working on this!) and I would like to think self control ( there are so any options here!). My mom was right when she said that when i leave I'll miss it.  

I love the patience people have here.  The gentleness and peace they function in.   These are just a few of many!!!

Tomorrow is my birthday so at 8pm i decided to go shopping for a dress or a present for myself.  I'll miss the shops being open so late when I head home. Or it costing me to go to the dermatologist for around 100 rand including medication. 

This post isn't about me giving advice or anything specific from the bible but it's about me sharing my life with you!

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Everything we need.

The other day I was feeling down and I wanted to be happy but it just felt impossible.  I told God how I was feeling and he spoke so clearly to me.  He said "do you doubt my ability to really give you joy?"  I was making it as if it was something impossible.  

Since I've been meditating on the scripture that says we have been given everything we need for life and Godliness-  this includes joy and peace. 

We have been given these things.  This is not some shady double minded scripture but it's truth.  It's the word of God, with God,  Holy Spirit inspired.  

May this truth ignite you. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah 

You are you. I am me.

What do you think of yourself on a daily basis? I mean im sure at some stage of the day you think about yourself? 

This is crucial to the goals we set or don't set.  How we interact with others and risks we do or don't take.  

Twice today I saw my scooter parked next to another black one.  The one was new and shiny and it made mine look dull.  Then later today mine was next to an older black one and mine looked shiny and new in comparison.  I sometimes compare myself to others and I feel bad and other times I feel great but truth is we are who we are and we are where we're at and I need to accept that.  

May we look to God and ask him how he sees us. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

A light in the dark

So today is Sunday and I am aware i haven't posted.  Im sorry.  Oh that reminds me i leant how to say (not write) that in Chinese.  Yay! 

Okay so today I drove on my scooter (second yayyy!) around town looking at the interesting facades and adverts.  Inviting exteriors (some) and just luring passersbys in. I stopped in at the mall, tried on a few clothes - my birthday is coming up.  Didnt buy any clothes but I did buy some vanilla and coconut essence to infuse my passage.  There is a point to this story I promise.  I was amazed at this shop once again as everything is NT$39 which is around R20. 

I brought home my purchases after getting a massive bread roll to consume for Sunday lunch-haha!

First thing I did when I got home was unwrap the essence and put it in the passage way.  Now this passageway has an interesting smell.  When I first arrived I thought it was homely and taiwanese but seven months in Im a bit over it.  This passage doesn't get much sun nor fresh air.  My point is coming I promise. This evening when I arrived home from church I noticed that the essence had permeated the area.  It smells fresh and clean again.

Here's my point: our lives as Christians are lights in a dark world.  They give off warmth and light.  They bring freshness and can change the atmosphere around us just like my essence has done.

May your light shine.  May you not be afrId to let it shine.  Let your life be a fragrant offering to the Lord. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

E m b r a c e

Today I heard a word sneak into my mind... Embrace! 

Just a few minutes later I saw a pregnant woman walk in wearing a red dress... Now I don't think it was a real preggies dress as it pull up in the front and was longer at the back.  So what does this word , "embrace" mean ? It means to really accept or hold affectionately.  So this ladies dress was really embracing her . 

Our lives can be filled with a lot more peace and joy if we embrace what we have and what God has given us.  

This is a word I'm living by.  This evening i embraced the inner voice that wanted to go for a ride.  I so enjoyed it! The mountains, the river and the open spaces.  

Embrace.

Love,

Phoenix and Sarah

F a i t h

So what is faith ? It's being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  

So yesterday I felt like I was practicing faith in the school context.  Two year olds all staring wide eyed at me while I was teaching.  No noises, no singing, no moving just staring!  But I just kept going, talking, moving, singing, reading, chanting and so on.  Then today I saw progress.  Yesterday I really felt like giving up.  Yes, they're cute but I was just feeling so useless as a teacher.  Today they moved and spoke.  It was amazing! This is not their first language so it's really even more amazing! 

We need to have faith in God about any and all areas of our lives that feel redundant.  He cares and hears our prayers! 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Simple things

Today was an interesting day - which helps when you've committed to writing daily on your blog.  

I should've guessed it would downpour today because it did yesterday but honestly the heat has been so overwhleming (especially with my hot coffee routine). Anyway,  I had to get to my Tuesday evening class at another branch and once again I hadn't packed a raincoat but this time I had a scooter to ride on (yay!). 

Y

A 

Y

!!!

I hopped onto my scooter wearing my black bag and rode to the closest seven eleven.  Two blocks away.  I was drenched.  So I bought a cheap pink raincoat, nearly bought a kiddies one and put it on - while racing against the clock.  But my backpack was on the outside of the raincoat and susceptible to the rain (which had my books in that i was going to teach).  In the process i split the raincoat and decided to just leave my backpack on the outside.  I stopped past home, changed, raced to school and just made it in time to realise I had prepped the wrong lesson.  But this is normal by now. 

In all of this excitement i realise that these things are just part of life and the cool moments of bliss or love are also and worth celebrating!

We sometimes put such emotional emphasis on the things that aren't our taste and I hope to be someone who makes a fuss of the things that are my style and taste ( the way someone says my name or the shape of a key, the colour of a wall or a message from a friend).  

May we emphasize the good in our lives. 

May we thank God for his goodness.

Im grateful that I didn't have my lunch alone, that I could share good news with a colleague and have her share in that joy.  I am thankful for time.  I am thankful for sleep and so with that-  Good night! 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Crying out!

Well today was the first day of school for some toddlers at my school.  It was two and a bit hours of constant crying.  These  kids felt like their parents had abandoned them.  They were calling for their mom and dad for hours.  Sigh.  What a day.  

It got me thinking about how we cry out to God to do something and we too can have this feeling like He is not coming to save us.  But in the end He will come.  We can either cry, rant and rave or just sit patiently and enjoy what is right in front of us.  I guess our faith sometimes needs time to grow and progress.  We need to develop trust and confidence in his faithfulness.  We have logic and the past to look back to.  Has he abandoned me before?  We have the word to turn to too!   What does his word say?  It says he won't disapoint us.  It tells us that he is a good father, protector, provider and so the list goes on and on...

When it's raining we forget there will be sun.  When it's sunny we forget that it could be could but let us not forget all that God has done for us.  Let us not forget his goodness.  

 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

The future

We spend a lot of time and money preparing for the future... Over the past few months that's exactly what I've been doing ... What should I do next year??!  I guess it's a joy and a stress to think such thoughts...

In church tonight my thoughts went somewhere (just for a second ) away from what the preacher was saying... I thought to myself "Maybe God isn't too fussed about what i do but more about whether I do it with him or not"...

Mhn...

The sermon tonight was about hidden fruit but also about abiding in God and so I guess it does tie in...

God desires our full attention.  He desires our heart.  He desires us.  He desires relationship with us.  Three things will last for eternity: God, the word of God and the souls of men.  Really it's that simple.  Our focus should be on things that last!

Whatever it is we do may we do it with God.  What could be greater? Richer? 

Nothing.

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah 

Simple.

So let's get down to basics- the raw truth.  We strip theology to its core.  When we simplify our wonderings and our philosophies... We are loved by a loving God.  He came down from heaven to show us.  We love because he loved us first. 

Streets are littered with advertisements.  We are tempted to buy buy buy.  Ambition is sometimes replaces morals and standards.  But it is possible to live life simply!  It is possible to renew our mind with Gods truth.  It's possible.  

May we live in the reality of Gods love. 

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah

Best friend

I truly believe that God wants to share every moment with us- good and bad.  I feel like He has purposefully brought me here to speak peace deep into my soul.  I feel like he's brought me here to quiet me.  I feel like he's brought me here and shown me that he is my best friend.  

Today I bought a scooter and all I could think was this is from God.  A blessing to be able to purchase it.  A blessing to enable me to enjoy my time fully in Taiwan.  The girl I bought it from gave me a great price and really blessed me in the whole process.  It got me thinking He's always here why do we doubt ? He's more involved than we think. 

"Faith in God be strong.  You know who he is.  Take courage dear heart.  He is always with me"

Love, 

Phoenix and Sarah