I never quite imagined the sense of loss that I would feel in this process. They don't show that on facebook- another surprise! Kidding. While im gaining so much how could it be that I feel loss?
For a couple of months Taiwan has been exciting and full. But there have been moments when I see friends chatting over coffee and I almost burst into tears... Where I see a mother and daughter walking hand in hand down the street and I can't help but ache. Just recently I've felt a tremendous emptiness coming home to myself. I've filled up on food, skipped going to church (and gym as well). I got a guitar, a bunny and spent waaaay too much time on Facebook looking at everyone else's "perfect" lives. Trying to fill this emptiness.
In this process of mourning things that I've so desired, hoped and dreamt of I've also found God seeking me out, revealing Himself to me. He always shows me that no darkness is too deep for Him and nothing in me scares him. He always loved/s me and thinks I'm beautiful. He sees the darkness but focusses on the good in me.
I hope that in the future Id be more purposeful in seeking him in times of pressure, misunderstandings, disapointments, heart ache and emptiness.
I've found so much peace in Him. Something that money can't buy. May you press into and recieve all the peace he has for you.
Love,
Phoenix and Sarah
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